This article is inspired by two things. The first is a conversation I had with a group of friends. The second is a scene from the Ndani TV’s web series on Youtube, Rumour Has It. I can’t remember the specific episode that inspired this but here’s what happened;
Ranti (played by Jemima Osude), an annoying gossip blogger that stole her boss’ blog, went on a dating spree with a long line of guys and decided it was a good idea to write a blog post about it.
After the conversation with my friends, I decided it was also a cute idea to write a blog post about our own experiences too. There are good men too, but ladies, let’s rant a little bit. Settle down, it’s a long read.
5 Types Of Men You Don’t Want To Meet! – Rumour Has It
The ones who talk about themselves non-stop
This one, I find really funny. These are the ones that take every and all opportunities to talk about themselves and their achievements and how many denominations of thirty billion are in their account. It’s quite possible it’s not there but let’s humour them for a bit.
They talk about how much they are better than everybody else. They don’t even allow you to ask questions and get answers on your own. The biography just keeps rolling off their tongues non-stop. They even go as far as interrupting you when you try to talk and say, “Wait, let me finish. Don’t interrupt a man when he’s talking.”
I mean, if we could divide the conversation, out of 100, you only have 10% of the conversation. If you’re lucky, maybe you’ll get up to 12.89%.
Well, Ranti was in the same situation, and so was I once. So I understand her plight. I could feel her righteous indignation from my position in front of the screen while watching.
So dear men, please, lets quit the autobiographies eh. It helps a lot. If symptoms persist, I recommend checking for signs of narci… Noooo, I’m not throwing shades, but just check.
2. ‘God said you’re my wife’- The PropheLYING Men
Yeees! If you know, you know. This is the category that particularly annoys me. A guy walks up to you and tells you, “You know, I’ve been praying long and hard about this.” He nods repeatedly with a grim look on his face. ” And God in his infinite mercy has finally revealed to me that you’re my wife.”
The guy always ‘appears’ to love God, always ‘appears’ to love going to church, always ‘appears’ to talk about how good it is being a Christian, and also ‘appears’ to rant about how there aren’t enough godly men and women anymore. If the shoe fits, you should be worried.
Guys! Please stop this! Please stop using God as a means to feed your insecurities and trap women. It’s not even a guarantee for a yes. The only thing it’ll guarantee you is helping others lose their respect for you. (And a ‘NO’ of course, let’s not forget that.)
Did God tell you that he’s quarrelling with her? Let’s say God told you, telling her that’s what God said only makes it seem like nothing short of a trap! Now that’s in the case where she didn’t hear the same thing.
If a guy tried this line with me, and my answer was in any way tilting towards the positive before the line, it’ll instantly and without a second of hesitation, move to the negative. It’s like you’re not ready for anything.
But ladies, if you like such men, kudos to you! Carry on and be happy, but use sense before you catwalk into a trap.
3. The Ministers of defence
These ones are dangerous. These are the men who do something wrong and is very likely to find a way to blame you for it. They are the ministers of defence.
A few days ago, someone shared a classic example of this on Facebook. Her husband had cheated on her. Not just that, he actually raped her eleven-year-old sister that was living with them. When she found out, she told her mother. You would think her mother would demand justice for her young daughter, but no. She did the exact opposite.
She plead with her daughter to keep it a secret and to not embarrass her husband. She asked her to forget about it. She told her, “that’s the way men are.” People in the comment section asked her to pray and forgive him, not to leave her husband and not let her children grow without a father. Her husband’s family said similar things.
Now her mother’s case is a story for another day, so is that of our comment section ‘marriage counsellors’ and his family members. My bone of contention is that her husbands family blamed her for the entire thing, and her husband supported them with more ammunition.
In this situation where this rapist is meant to admit he’s wrong, and the woman’s family is meant to report this abuse, the man and the rest of the world are busy blaming the woman.
They said she didn’t look pretty enough, she needed to slim down, needed to learn how to cook better, quit her job and stay at home to take care of her husband’s needs. And yet again, her husband supported these statements.
Another instance. Let’s say a guy asks you out, and you didn’t say yes, but you’re actually thinking about it. He then goes about telling people that you’re going to marry him or that you’re his wife. He comes back to tell you what he did. Surely you won’t be overjoyed with the news.
Instead of admitting he was wrong in doing that, he then turns around to say you’re the one wasting time, and he wants both of you to ‘move forward’. He says he was too excited, so he couldn’t say no when asked if he had any ‘woman in his life’. He was only giving your situation a push. He continues making his case by saying that going back to retract his statement would only embarrass him. Laugh with me sis.
My sisters, if you see this type, please run. I repeat, if you meet this one, don’t even run again… FLEE! They can murder their mothers and blame you for it.
4. The Money Bags
Here we have the ones that deliberately throw their money in your face with the hopes that you’ll fall in love with them, That you’ll fall in love with their money actually, but again, let’s humour them.
That’s not to say some women don’t fall for it and follow the money wherever it goes. So let’s not blame it on the men alone. Women do go out with men because of their money, so it makes sense that men would continually wave their bank account balance in your face in hopes to convince you to go out with them. Obviously, they can’t deal with smart women who aren’t attracted by how much they have in their accounts, because well, money can’t buy our loyalty or love.
Of course, he has to have financial plans and goals for his life, but money shouldn’t be a primary determinant, should it? Brain first, before money. Have sense, and other things will naturally follow.
I personally feel guys who do this are too shallow for me. I mean, if you really think throwing gifts at me or constantly mentioning how much you make would get me to like you one bit, then you’re obviously mistaken. You barked up the wrong tree!
Please don’t throw your money at women. They can fling ten times that amount back in your direction… but right after they lecture you on how important great sense and wisdom is more important than your money.
5. The Over Persistent, Overzealous, and Never Give ups
Lastly, you know those guys that never take no for an answer? Yes, the very man you’re thinking about. That’s the one. The one that never ever takes no for an answer.
There’s no problem with being persistent. It’s a very nice trait, but when persistence starts to mirror the FEMI SYNDROME from ‘Rumour Has it’, (you guys should definitely watch this series), I have a very big problem with it. Don’t stalk me all in the name of being persistent. If you cannot remain in the friend zone, I don’t know how to treat your case.
If I told you ‘NO’ the first time, coming back to ask a second time will just start to get me annoyed. When it increases to more than two, it irritates the patience out of me. Just stop, please. Stop!
Most women ‘pre-think’ actions and can comfortably interpret intentions, so there’s a 99.9% chance that she’s predicted what your intentions were, thought about it and given you an answer hundred times in her head before you even ask.
So guys, guuuys, guuuuys! Some women don’t necessarily like being pestered. it’s creepy.
Ladies, if you want to say yes or no, don’t be a fowl and start turning the guys head around till he starts to develop the FEMI SYNDROME! You know what I’m talking about. Lose him and let him go! Let your no be no, and yes be yes.
So that’s it people. This list is not all there is, but I have a project to type. (Let’s not play ourselves lol). I legit can’t with these type of guys!
This doesn’t mean that there aren’t good men in ‘Lagos’. In fact, there are plenty of them and at the same time, they are quite a few.
Just so you’ll get some clarity on our number one man, check out this post on narcissism >> 10 Signs You’re In A Relationship With A Narcissist
Check out reviews on the series by A Wacko’s Review on Youtube too. I’m legit his biggest fan. Fair warning, get ready to laugh.
Is there any category I missed? Let me know down below.
Share your experiences too.